I have not posted much this week. I knew that I would have to tell you what was decided about Albert. Deep in my heart, I knew what would have to happen, but I still wanted to try to do something for this little dog. Albert is not an aggressive dog, he is a sweet little soul with something very, very wrong in his brain. For whatever reason, something in there is broken. Once or twice a day, sometimes more, Albert would completely lose control, growling, snarling and trying to bite. Fortunately, he is small enough with enough loose skin that I could get ahold of his neck and just hang on to him until he settled down. But he was never remorseful, and never even seemed to realize that he had done anything. It was almost as if he had checked out for a moment. His eyes would go flat and he just wasn’t himself. After speaking with the vet at length, we all feel strongly that Albert most likely had some sort of brain tumor or other bad “miswiring”, and that these episodes were some sort of seizure. Even after a week of going for walks, running in the canyon, and getting lots of attention, there is still no rhyme or reason to Albert’s outbursts. They are more confusing than ever. Given the unpredictable nature of Albert’s aggression, and knowing that it would very likely get much worse very quickly, we made the decision to put him to sleep today. He died in my lap, with me petting him. He went peacefully and quickly, with no struggle. I don’t think he wanted that broken body anymore. It will haunt me always, this poor little guy with the broken mind.
But I had to face reality, and when I realized that I wouldn’t even let my dog savvy and gentle husband handle Albert because I was afraid Albert would hurt him, that Albert could not possibly go into another home. Not fair to anyone, and certainly not fair for Albert to set him up to fail. At least his last week was a good one, and I was able to tell him what was happening. I hope that his little soul will rest easy now, and if he decides to try this world again, he gets a better go round.
I know I made the right decision, but it still sucks. My heart hurts, and there will surely be more tears, Blessed Be Albert……
Posted on November 2nd, 2007 by michelle
Filed under: Not my dogs, The Naked Part
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