Modern Dog Blog

Living with the Crazy

She’s nuts – truly she is. At five years old, you’d think she would have figured out that the reflection in the stove, TV and windows is a REFLECTION, not another dog. Nope, still startles and barks at them. That perhaps, at five years old, she would have figured out the mommy likes it when you potty OUTSIDE, and only outside. Nope, she’ll just poop in the spare room whenever the spirit moves her.

The other night my blanket was on the floor and she was digging and snorting and doing all sorts of weird pug things in it – I thought “aw, how cute, she’s making a bed” – no, she peed on it. What the f@!*#! Weirdo. I could barely contain my shock – she hasn’t pulled that one since she was a puppy. I don’t get it.

She hears things no one else hears, she barks at unknown and perhaps imagined dangers. As she’s gotten older, she thinks she’s queen bitch of everyone, and if she gets mad, look out, she turns into a Tasmanian Devil – screeching and yelling at everyone. She has no concept of anyone’s personal space and thinks nothing of laying all over the other dogs, steals their toys, and is horrible about chewing on the backs of Dyson’s and Jester’s legs.

She has a foot fetish, and we don’t even notice anymore that she spends hours of her day licking our feet. It’s foul and disgusting, but she insists and it’s easier just to let her do it. Some sort of bizarre left over nursing behavior? Your guess is as good as mine…

If I understood her, or could even get a glimpse of what it is in her little brain that makes her tick, I’d be a millionaire because I’d be able to figure out all weird dogs. But no, she baffles me on every level.

The grass, the same grass she has lived next to and pottied on for the last three years – suddenly scary and not okay to walk on. Huh? It’s okay during the day, but at night – woo, terrifying stuff. Seriously, her ears go back, tail goes down, and she does anything she can to avoid it. But only on some nights – not every night – see what I mean about the crazy?

She’s nuts, certifiable, a wack job, and I love her to distraction. I’d do anything for her, and spend my nights cuddled in bed with her. I delight in playing games with her, tossing the ball or the frisbee – because here the crazy is helpful. She doesn’t know she shouldn’t actually retrieve or jump to catch a frisbee. She just does everything to the nth degree. Everything with her is extreme, nothing is ever half assed. She might be truly Crazy, but dog help me, I love that little black dog.