So Q had her first official “blow out” today. OH…MY…GOD…..
I have never seen anything like it. She didn’t poop yesterday, and was awake all morning, I am so so so very tired, she finally went down around 12:30, and I passed out too. She woke up around 3, and I fed her, and then laid her on a pillow on my lap while I made like Bessie Moo with the pump. She stared at the fan and made silly faces and then, there is no other word for it – erupted.
The noise was fantastic, and as I gazed at the suspicious new color of the leg of her diaper I thought well, at least she finally pooped. Now, for effect, keep in mind I’ve got boob pumps in each hand, so am sort of stuck. Plus, I’m mostly naked, cause clothes are just over rated at this point. All I had on were the rockin’ hospital issue mesh panties!
I decided since she started wailing that perhaps I should disengage myself from the machine and attend to her bottom. So, I did and picked her up, and was delighted to note the poo leaking out the opposite top side of her diaper through her onesie – oh ya, this is gonna be good.
I get her to the changing table and opened the gates of hell. Poo everywhere. Up the front, the back, out the side, and oh – taking a poo covered onesie off a screaming wiggling child? Next time I’ll just cut it off cause I managed to additionally smear poo all over her face and in her hair – rock on super star mom. Five wipes in and poo on the kids head, I realized I was no match for this disaster, gave up, cuddled my shit slicked infant to my chest and started the shower. Luckily Josh had come home early to work from home, so I opened the door and called him and gave him detailed instructions.
“Do not touch the baby, or me. Get a bag and collect the carnage off the changing table (at this point I wish I’d taken pictures, it was THAT awesome), get a clean diaper, onesie, and a towel, and wait for me to give you the clean child.” Luckily he follows instructions well, and got her dried and dressed while I finished my shower.
My thought now is – what the hell do you do if that happens in public? Pray? Cause there was no containing that disaster. She feels better now though thank you very much.
Motherhood is awesome. She was adorable in the shower though, didn’t fuss, just blinked at me with those big Disney princess eyes.
Although I imagine I’d be happy too if someone were holding me in a warm shower, washing my hair, and my bottom for me. Those were the days…..
Posted on October 30th, 2008 by michelle
Filed under: Baby stories, Pregnancy, The Naked Part
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