Ok, so I’ve had dogs in my bed for the last 20 years or so. Some weird things have happened. Occasionally my bed gets puked on, there is always a lot of hair in it, occasionally someone leaves a chew bone or two under the covers, and you kind of learn not to smell any suspicious wet spots. Just wash the covers, don’t wonder, cause you don’t want to know.
Lucky for me, I have been blessed with many dogs who, ahem, lose some bladder control occasionally. While sleeping. On my bed. Yes, lovely.
Redwood started having accidents when she was about 3, just every now and again, she’d fall into a really deep sleep and “forget” to get up and go pee outside. Now lest you misunderstand, Redwood was beautifully housebroken and would be offended if someone else pottied in the house, let alone ever be caught doing it herself. It only happened when she was really in a deep sleep, and usually there was also something stressful going on in her daytime life (new puppy or what have you), and she was always very upset to wake up and discover she’d wet the bed. I was always upset too. Nothing like stretching out in your warm, cozy cocoon and getting a soggy foot for your trouble.
So, I learned to wrap my mattress in trash bags and strip my bed sheets at an early age. Having her with me at night was worth the occasional midnight load of laundry.
Since Redwood, Rowan too started having accidents in her sleep, at an older age, around six, but same general story. Luckily Rowan didn’t sleep on the bed. Her choice, not mine. So, her dog beds were eventually wrapped in plastic too.
Both of those lovely ladies have left me, and I thought perhaps our bedwetting days were over. No. I currently have a Leaky Labrador, a Betsy Wetsy Border Collie, and a Piddling Pug. Dyson will fall asleep after playing and sometimes his bladder just gets so full from all the water he drank that it will just leak a bit. This always wakes him up, and he will frantically start licking himself clean and get to the nearest door. He doesn’t mean to do it, but he’s a big dog, and when he leaks, well, he’s tall too so you can imagine the mess. Karma, dear heavens, that dog. Same thing, falls asleep, usually on my couch, and just pisses herself. But she doesn’t wake up, or even seem to notice that she’s done it. Now, neither of these dogs would ever dream of going potty in the house on purpose, so I try not to get too upset, although, washing the same comforter three days in a row does get a bit old. We combat this by taking them out regularly, and about every hour or so if they’ve played hard and had a lot to drink.
Up until very recently, my two little pugs were the only dogs I had that DIDN’T wet themselves in their sleep. Now Jester will surely piss on that stupid little round table I have if he’s got an opinion to share, but he doesn’t pee himself in his sleep. (He had a run of stealth pissing for about a year after Dyson moved in, but he got over that and has quit, thankfully.) Teak will once in a great while, pee right in front of me if she just gets too full and I don’t catch her very, very subtle cues that she needs to go out. Since her cues that she needs to potty include breathing, and, um, breathing, they are sometimes hard to notice. She’ll crap in the house, no sweat, doesn’t have that one down yet, but unless it’s an emergency, she doesn’t pee inside. No, I have not figured out how her twisted little head works, give me five more years, I’ll get back to you.
Ok, so back to my story. Sleeping with dogs. Bad things happen in your bed sometimes. And not the types of bad things you want to happen in your bed. I ran the dogs yesterday. It was hot, they drank a lot. I took them out multiple times before bed. You can see where this is going, right? Yes, yes, my little Teak has joined the ranks of bed pissers. I don’t know what gift I have that these animals can’t hold their bladders, but it is too weird to have had five dogs with the same problem. So she had an accident. So she slept through it. It wouldn’t have been that bed except lately? Lately she’s been sleeping on my pillow…….
Posted on January 14th, 2009 by michelle
Filed under: My dogs, The Naked Part
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