I have to say, some of the warmest, most kind and considerate people I have in my life have come to me through the dog world, my husband included. I also have to say that some of the most obnoxious, inconsiderate, selfish bastards I have ever met are also part of the dog world. I make no secret out of the fact that people routinely annoy the fuck out of me, and that I have a very low tolerance for general stupidity. But really.
Yesterday evening I am at my little obedience club, chatting with friends and practicing with my old dog. Karma was on my friend’s lap giving some good collie love, and an olderish lady gets out of her car with a young Border Collie puppy in tow. This poor pup was maybe all of four months old, and she had him roped up on a gentle leader, which is fine if they are used correctly, but this poor little thing was flailing about like a fish on the end of a hook. She also had him on a super fabulous chain leash, you know, the kind they sell at the grocery store. Chain leads and retractable leashes drive me out of my mind, so pretty much my back was already up the second she came into view. They should be banned from production. Erg! Anyway, this puppy is clearly wound up, thrashing around, and she comes over and is trying to talk to us instead of attending to her freaking out puppy.
Crazy dog lady: “Is that a Border Collie?”
My friend: “Why, yes, yes it is.”
Crazy dog lady: “Oh, I just love Border Collies, I haven’t had one for years, but now I got this one for Christmas and I’m trying to make lots of Border Collie friends. How old is it?”
My friend looks at me blankly, and says “I don’t know, it’s her dog” and points to me.
By this time I’m already not very interested so I’m trying to be nice, I am, and tell her that the dog is 7 years old. She goes on about how she just loooves Border Collies, and asks me what the other Border Collies’ name is. Huh? Other Border Collie? Is she nuts? What the hell is she talking about? She points behind me, that Border Collie.
“Oh,” I say, “No I don’t know his name, because I really don’t like dogs and I’m a bit people aggressive so I don’t pay attention to dogs that aren’t mine.”
My friend is cracking up at this point, unable to believe I actually just said that, and that I’m being so rude. Whatever, I was already feeling testy, and since I’m not working, I don’t have to play nice if I don’t want to. We were obviously busy, and this lady was just being in your face super pushy crazy dog owner and I just don’t dig that. And her puppy was just flipping out. I’m sorry, but if you’re here for class, shouldn’t you be teaching your dog something other than to thrash around, bark and act obnoxious? Just a thought. She’s asking if we’re all going to be there in an hour so she can come make friends with the dogs. Yikes. I don’t know, we’ll see, we say.
Lady finally gets the hint that I’m just not interested in socializing, and the other people who’s conversation she was rudely interrupting were more interested in each other than her.
So an hour or so goes by, and we’re still working dogs, different ones, but still working. We decide to wrap it up, the baby is getting fussy, crying, ready for bed. I run to the restroom and leave Q with Josh and on my way back, who but crazy dog lady is walking towards them – her dog barking his head off, and she’s going, over and over again “Is the baby crying? Is there a baby crying?” I mean, what the fuck? You can see that her Dad is absorbed in getting her into her car seat and calmed down and you’re going to come get in his face? I hustle up behind her and body block her because it’s very obvious she’s going to let her dog jump all over my stroller, and my fussy baby, so her dog can “see the baby, it’s crying.” I’m pretty chill with Quinn and dogs. She’s comfortable with them, and a baby is a great distraction for obedience training. I hold Quinn and put liver in her lap while my other friend’s Border Collie pup gets the treats. Poor little Secret is afraid of the baby, but is getting more brave now that she’s learning the baby has liver in her pants. But this totally obnoxious stranger with an untrained puppy is going to let her pup jump all over me six month old?! I don’t think so. I don’t know you, I don’t know your dog, get the hell away from my baby. I would like Quinn to NOT be afraid of dogs, and NOT develop any fear of them, and having a sharp toothed puppy all over her while she’s already tired and cranky is NOT a good idea. So I get in between the lady and the stroller, you’d think she’d clue in on the body language – and SHE PICKS UP THE DOG so it can see in the stroller. What the hell?!?! Are you nuts? Completely, off your rocker cuckoo for coco puffs? What is wrong with you?
I do not understand. I truly don’t. Josh and I hustled Quinn to the car and left kooky lady in the dust, I was no longer trying to be even a little bit nice. Why? She’s completely invaded my personal space, and is not getting the clue that I don’t want to be her new Border Collie friend.
My poor husband says “I meet and deal with so many people, and I never run into the looney tunes that you do. It really must be something with dog people.” Poor guy. Dog people are nuts. Certifiable, complete loons. Granted, there are dog people out there who are wonderful. Kind, caring, loving attentive, awesome people. But dogs, with their unconditional love and acceptance, tend to attract the most dysfunctional of the human race.
Here’s the thing. Just because I own a dog, and you own a dog, does NOT mean I want to be your friend. Even less so do I want our dogs to be friends. I’ve always been this way, it’s just gotten worse in the last few years. No, I do not want your obnoxious animal jumping all over me so it can “say hello.” No, my dogs are not friendly and we would prefer you keep your distance. And no, I’m not really friendly either, so please, please? Just go away.
Posted on April 7th, 2009 by michelle
Filed under: Random run ins, The Naked Part
I thought I was the only one who felt this way! My dog isn’t friendly to other dogs, so I can’t stand when other folks don’t have their dog on a leash, or understand that when I go up someone’s driveway on our walk, I’m trying to give my guy the breathing room he needs.
Retractable leashes make me crazy, especially when they’re attached to a little yappy dog and a clueless owner who lets the leash out to 10 feet. Argggh!
Thanks for the entertaining read.
You know you sound really unpleasant, right ?
I typed ‘ irritating dog lady ‘ into Google, and your blog came up. I think you were first. Try it.
Also, you misspelled -assistant- when you described your husband.
That’s all.
Entertaining article. I’m a dog owner and find it frustrating dealing with the owners that you describe, especially the owners who think that all dogs must be friends.
Jen, I agree with your comments, too. For a long time I worried about my dog getting a bad label because he’s reactive on leash (which I know now is very common), and I had to go up others’ driveways to give him breathing space.
Recently, I was working in my front yard (quiet street), my dog was near me (his leash on so I could take control when necessary), and a woman walked by with two tiny dogs, each on a retractable leash. I took my guy’s leash and walked him back to the house, praising him for not reacting. This foolish woman decides to give her dogs *more* leash while they walk by, one of the little rats growling at my husband who is also working in the yard. Unbelievable. I’m far from perfect (always learning), but if I saw someone taking a 90lb dog in the opposite direction, I’d be considerate and keep my dogs close, and keep moving.
Before I get off my soap box, I also wish children (and adults) would receive more education about dogs’ body language. When we have guests, I feel like an idiot when I have to tell them not to stare at my dog until he’s comfortable with them – they look at me like I’m nuts.
As Stanley Coren said, it’s amazing that dogs don’t eat us, considering the rude behaviour we exhibit towards them!
[...] Matt is. Well, thanks Matt. I’m guessing that Matt really didn’t read the post – this one that he was commenting [...]
Not all people like dogs and not all people, in my opinion, should own them. I have a friend with BIG dogs and they are allowed to run around, knock people over, get on all furniture, grab food from the table. She thinks her dogs are super smart, and they may be, because I think they are smarter than she is. She claims to be a bit of a dog expert, but she’s wishing, at best. Her back hurts because they drag her, she can’t ever leave them at home because they tear everything up, she can’t have a job because she can’t leave her dogs alone for 10 minutes let alone during a work shift. She and her husband fight about it all the time. He thinks they should be trained and she thinks they don’t understand. But, she thinks her dogs are genius for knowing how to find a toy under an upturned flower pot. She took one of her dogs to a graduation ceremony in a huge auditorium and didn’t understand why people didn’t appreciate it. She doesn’t understand why hotels won’t let them bring their dogs. They tear up every piece of furniture in her own house. Why would she even ask? The dogs aren’t puppies. They are huge.
I’m sorry for venting, but there are seeing eye dogs who can behave in public, there are service animals who know not to knock people over. I just cringe every time she tries to tell me how smart her dogs are.
No one goes to her house anymore because of the dogs and she just doesn’t get it. She gets mad if someone says they don’t want her dogs on them. She would never tell the dogs to behave. They’re just being dogs.
Anyway….a shout out to people who do train their dogs.
A looonnnng time friend has a 1 year old puppy. when she comes to visit, the constant scolding is tremendously irritating. Right across the front of me. Ugh. constant. I don’t know if others in the room feel the same way when this is going on but they must. How can I tell her without being offensive that I don’t want the dog here without more puppy training? Go to puppy training school first. Don’t bring your dog until after graduation! This group gets together every few months and I don’t want them to join us with this issue!! help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!