It’s not like we’re at a movie or a fancy restaurant, it’s the freaking post office, so get over it. Yes, she’s crying, yes, I’m trying to keep her happy, but you know what? We have just as much right to be here as you do, and if you are that bothered, leave.

Thus I am again reminded that people suck. This is why I like hanging out with my dogs.

I have never seen anything like it. She didn’t poop yesterday, and was awake all morning, I am so so so very tired, she finally went down around 12:30, and I passed out too. She woke up around 3, and I fed her, and then laid her on a pillow on my lap while I made like Bessie Moo with the pump. She stared at the fan and made silly faces and then, there is no other word for it - erupted.

The noise was fantastic, and as I gazed at the suspicious new color of the leg of her diaper I thought well, at least she finally pooped. Now, for effect, keep in mind I’ve got boob pumps in each hand, so am sort of stuck. Plus, I’m mostly naked, cause clothes are just over rated at this point. All I had on were the rockin’ hospital issue mesh panties!

I decided since she started wailing that perhaps I should disengage myself from the machine and attend to her bottom. So, I did and picked her up, and was delighted to note the poo leaking out the opposite top side of her diaper through her onesie - oh ya, this is gonna be good.

I get her to the changing table and opened the gates of hell. Poo everywhere. Up the front, the back, out the side, and oh - taking a poo covered onesie off a screaming wiggling child? Next time I’ll just cut it off cause I managed to additionally smear poo all over her face and in her hair - rock on super star mom. Five wipes in and poo on the kids head, I realized I was no match for this disaster, gave up, cuddled my shit slicked infant to my chest and started the shower. Luckily Josh had come home early to work from home, so I opened the door and called him and gave him detailed instructions.

“Do not touch the baby, or me. Get a bag and collect the carnage off the changing table (at this point I wish I’d taken pictures, it was THAT awesome), get a clean diaper, onesie, and a towel, and wait for me to give you the clean child.” Luckily he follows instructions well, and got her dried and dressed while I finished my shower.

My thought now is - what the hell do you do if that happens in public? Pray? Cause there was no containing that disaster. She feels better now though thank you very much.

Motherhood is awesome. She was adorable in the shower though, didn’t fuss, just blinked at me with those big Disney princess eyes.

Although I imagine I’d be happy too if someone were holding me in a warm shower, washing my hair, and my bottom for me. Those were the days…..

But, truly? There is nothing like it. It is one thing for strangers to fawn all over you precious dogs and say how cute and lovely and soft they are - I take credit for being able to pick a cute dog, feed it well, and give them regular baths with good shampoo. It is quite another to have strangers fawn all over your baby. Strangers who see babies every day and call each other over to say “Hey, you have to look at this one, she is so cute, all that hair! Adorable.”

Being the curmudgeon I am, I ask “Don’t you say that to all the moms?” Oh no, we say they are nice babies, but they aren’t all cute. Kind of bumps your ego a bit.

I did that. I created, carried, and with quite a bit of assistance brought into the world that adorable little girl. I’m pretty proud of myself and am very pleased with her. Huh. I’m still a bit in shock, but I’m a whole lot in love right now.

Welcome to the world baby Q - I can’t wait to take you home to meet your dogs.

I hugged the tech I was so happy to hear that. So, of course, we
headed straight to the school to burn off some steam and play just a
tiny bit of ball. Collie crack. She is a happy, happy dog tonight.
You can see her grinning, even though she had to have a bath when she
got home.

Everyone got to run, chase the ball - Dyson and Teak are overjoyed at
this - and they are all now sleeping!! I am overjoyed at this!

She seems to be sound, is running fine and I don’t see any evidence
of a limp or favoring. It’s been a long couple of weeks, but I’m
beyond thrilled that we can start getting back into our routines and
I can start running these dogs again. Now, the baby will come, and
I’ll be stuck at home again - but at least dad can take them out and
they can have fun. The next step will be getting her back to flyball
and see how she comes off the box.

She has a foot fetish, and we don’t even notice anymore that she spends hours of her day licking our feet. It’s foul and disgusting, but she insists and it’s easier just to let her do it. Some sort of bizarre left over nursing behavior? Your guess is as good as mine…

If I understood her, or could even get a glimpse of what it is in her little brain that makes her tick, I’d be a millionaire because I’d be able to figure out all weird dogs. But no, she baffles me on every level.

The grass, the same grass she has lived next to and pottied on for the last three years - suddenly scary and not okay to walk on. Huh? It’s okay during the day, but at night - woo, terrifying stuff. Seriously, her ears go back, tail goes down, and she does anything she can to avoid it. But only on some nights - not every night - see what I mean about the crazy?

She’s nuts, certifiable, a wack job, and I love her to distraction. I’d do anything for her, and spend my nights cuddled in bed with her. I delight in playing games with her, tossing the ball or the frisbee - because here the crazy is helpful. She doesn’t know she shouldn’t actually retrieve or jump to catch a frisbee. She just does everything to the nth degree. Everything with her is extreme, nothing is ever half assed. She might be truly Crazy, but dog help me, I love that little black dog.

Rowan never slept in bed, but in the beginning her crate was right next to my bed. I could reach in and pet her, or at the frequent sound of her barfing her brains out - jump out of bed, hustle her outdoors, and get a bucket to clean up. That would be why Rowan never slept in bed. Later, as she got older and didn’t need to be crated at night, she still was always close on a dog bed. I used to try to get her to sleep with us after Redwood died, and she’d lay with me while I petted her, and then bail as soon as I’d stop. It was just never her thing. She’d cuddle with you forever, but sleep with you? No.

Jester started out in a crate his first night home, and after one night of getting up every two hours to a whimpering, pathetic pug puppy - I again gave up and just plopped him on my pillow. He’s been sleeping with me ever since. In my early 20’s when life was so chaotic and hectic, the best part of my day was to crawl into bed with Redwood at the foot and Jester snuggled up against my belly under the covers. The dogs have changed, but that’s still the best part of my day, really. Jester is the master at getting under the covers, and there’s nothing like snuggling a super pug heater on a chilly winter night. The bed is Jester’s domain, and his favorite days are when we get up, eat breakfast, and go back to bed. He is a champion napper.

When Teak was a baby, she came to me with a broken leg, so had to sleep in her crate as a pup while that healed. Also, she was a raging maniac who COULD NOT settle down at night, and she would ramp all over the place bonking all of us in the face with her little smashed self. She was a whirling dervish as a baby, and we would let her out to play but you could feel the energy level in the room plummet as soon as we put her to bed in her crate. You could see Jester and Rowan heaving sighs of relief “Finally, we can get some rest.” As the brat got older, she finally learned to sleep with us, and after a few months of having them sleep on opposite sides of me, Jester finally accepted her presence in his place. Now they sleep together, a smushy, squishy pug pile, next to my belly at night. Even though Teak has recently decided that sleeping ON my pillow, above my head, is a cool place to be - it doesn’t bother me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Karma is a bit like Rowan, and will lay with you as long as you are petting her, but as soon as the hand stops moving, she bails. She has a lovely chair that she prefers to sleep on - she’s always been that way.

Dyson desperately wants to sleep in bed with us, and often manages to sneak up there - how we miss 95 lbs of dog sneaking up onto the bed, I’ll never know - but we’ve often woken to limbs that have lost feeling because yet another lab has plopped itself in the middle of the bed. D has been very patient lately, and waits until Josh leaves in the morning and then politely curls up at the bottom of the bed on Josh’s side. He’s very careful not to step on any pugs, and barely moves once he’s there - but his day really isn’t complete unless he’s gotten some bed time.

I thought of this today when I went back to bed for a nap - this pregnancy thing is kicking my ass - and Jester, Teak, and Karma all climbed in with me. With a warm, furry Collie body at my back, Jester snuggled at my feet, and Teak with her head on my chest - I wondered, how do people without dogs sleep? I haven’t slept alone in many, many years, I’d hate to start now. It doesn’t seem to matter how trying, retarded, or special they are during the day, all is forgiven and forgotten as we curl up together at night. There’s nothing better than waking up and taking a few moments to scratch pug bellies and smooch the big dogs on the nose. I treasure those moments of quiet. The beginning and the end of the day to regroup and bond with my little family, to check in with them and make sure they are okay. I think if more people woke up and said hello to their dog first thing in the morning, took a few moments to get sloppy dog kisses and revel in simple joy of being - perhaps we all might be a little happier.